


I'll Risk It All

by DeanWinchesterPityParty



Series: Supernatural One-Shots [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-20
Updated: 2014-11-20
Packaged: 2018-02-26 08:56:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2645894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeanWinchesterPityParty/pseuds/DeanWinchesterPityParty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean doesn't want the reader to hunt with him and Sam, but the reader has no family to return to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'll Risk It All

            As you pin Dean for the third time in twenty minutes, you grin, hoping that he’ll finally take you on a hunt. You bend and press a kiss to his throat before you let him up. “Dean, I’m ready to hunt,” you tell him.

            He shakes his head. “No.”

            You feel your eyes grow wider. “What do you mean, no? Dean, don’t tell me you were going easy on me, because I _know_ that you weren’t.”

            “You’re not going on a hunt with us, not now, not ever. I don’t care how good you get at fighting,” Dean says. “You’re going to go back to college and get on with your life. You’re going to get a career. You’re going to have a family.”

            “I can’t do that if you’re hunting,” you tell him, rolling your eyes. “If you let me hunt with you, then we can have a family.” Dean turns away from you without saying anything, and horrible realization hits you like a tsunami. He doesn’t mean that you’ll have a family with him. It nearly knocks the wind out of you to say, “You’re breaking up with me? You’re kicking me _out_?!”

            “Y/N….” he says gently, turning and taking your hand.

            “No,” you say, backing out of the bunker’s living room. “No, you can’t do this.” Then you turn and run to your room. You haven’t been here in weeks, not since you started sharing a room with Dean, but you can’t go to his room can you? He just broke up with you.

            You hear him calling your name as he heads toward his room, looking for you. You throw yourself down on the bed and pull a pillow over your head, blocking out the sounds of the world, letting yourself cry and live within your little world of rejection.

            When Dean doesn’t find you in his room, you faintly hear his cries for you become panicked. Eventually, he remembers that you do, in fact, have a room of your own, and knocks at the door. “Y/N? Can I come in?”

            “No,” you reply, but he comes in anyway.

            “Listen, I don’t want to break up with you,” he says quietly. “I love you. I can’t imagine my life without you. But I don’t want this life for you, Y/N. God, I don’t want this life for you. Please understand.”

            “All I understand is that you don’t want me anymore,” you say quietly, sitting up as Dean sits on your bed. “All I understand is that you’re kicking me out of your life, and you have to understand that I don’t have a life to go back to. How can you do this to me, Dean?”

            “Y/N… I’m doing this _for_ you, don’t you see that? This is not a life I can let you live in good conscience. Please, try to understand that.  Y/N… You’re so smart, you’re so talented, you’re so beautiful… You have so much potential to make a wonderful life for yourself. I can’t stand between you and that life.” Dean reaches out to touch your cheek, gently urging you to look at him. “I love you so much, and I want everything for you. I want you to have a wonderful, normal, apple pie life.”

            You turn away as a sob wracks your body. “Does it matter what _I_ want?” you demand. “Because I don’t _want_ normal, or apple pie, or college, or any of that! I _want_ you! I _need_ you, Dean Winchester.” Another sob overtakes you, and you add, “I know you don’t need me, Dean. It’s okay. But, please… you have Sam and Castiel, but all I have is you. I mean, yeah, they’re my family too, but they won’t be anymore if you throw me out. You’re all I’ve got, Dean.”

            “Y/N… Please. You can do this,” he whispers.

            “No, I can’t!” you sob. “I was normal, Dean, till that _bitch_ Abbadon _murdered_ my family! She didn’t leave anyone out, not a single cousin or _anyone_ I loved! I was lost! I was broken! I dropped out of college and I tried to start hunting, but I failed! When you found me, I finally had something, I had someone! You taught me to fight, you gave me a purpose, and you _can’t_ just take that away!”

            “Y/N, I can’t let you live this life. It’s awful, it’s unbearable.” Dean reaches out to you. “It’s so lonely.”

            “It won’t be, not with all of us!” you plead. “Dean… please. Please, don’t make me lose my family again. You and Sam and Cas are the only family I’ve got. I know that the job is dangerous, I know that the life is hard, but I’m willing to risk it all to be with you. I’ll do anything.”

            “Damn it,” Dean breathes. “Okay, alright. You can hunt with us. But you’re strictly on research duty unless absolutely necessary. Got it?”

            You throw your arms around him, tackling him onto the bed, laughing. “Thank you, Dean! Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

            He wraps his arms around your waist and holds on tightly. “No, Y/N. Thank you. I almost just forced you out of my life. Thank you for not letting me make that mistake.”


End file.
